I Wore a Skirt to Church on Sunday

I'm very grateful to have permission to reproduce here something by Carrie Stringham Teasdale. I've never met Carrie, but her words had quite an impression on me so I sought her out to ask whether I could share them on my blog. 

As background this past Sunday, 16th December, was designated by a group of Mormon feminists as "Wear Pants [Trousers] to Church Day". They felt that being required to wear a skirt or dress to church is indicative of the oppressive and patronising attitude in the LDS church towards women. Now, whilst I'll readily admit that it is a patriarchal church, I personally have never felt less valued or respected in it, or in any way inferior to my brothers in Christ's church. I also only ever wear skirts or dresses because I find them way more comfortable than trousers. In fact, I don't currently own a pair of trousers (that fit). I have held some pretty major callings (on the Stake Public Affairs Council, YW President, Primary President and currently Seminary Teacher) and really don't have any hankering to be Bishop. 

But enough of my waffling. Here's what Carrie had to say on the matter:

This Sunday, as most of you know, is one that is making the news for members of my religion. The theme for the day is neither Christmas, caring, Christianity, love or devotion. It is a few people's idea of Feminism. We live in a world of free speech. We attend a church that discusses free agency as a given right. Today is the day women show up to church in pants. A simple protest that, frankly, makes me sad.

I listened to a talk given by a member of the Quorum of the 70, visiting my stake in Colorado growing up. It changed my views on a lot of things in both religion and life. It began with a baby tantruming and an embarrassed mother hustling to get her child out of ear shot for the sake of the speaker and the message. The speaker smiled and nodded at the horrified mother and veered entirely off of his talk. In fact, he set his papers and scriptures aside completely. He commended her for stalwartly attending church with a young child, as he was a father himself and it was rather difficult to keep a baby behaving the way you'd like for three hours of the day. Not only did this mother sacrifice her time and patience, but the speaker took note of her thoughtfulness in helping others to feel the spirit and the personal meaning the talks in the meeting might have for them.

Then this speaker continued on, blowing my little Mormon girl mind. He mused at how much he loved the sound of children's crying in church. It meant someone was trying. He loved the smell of cigarette smoke lingering on someone next to him, because it meant someone was putting aside something they struggled with to say to God that they were trying. Then he mentioned that one of his favorite things was seeing someone in jeans, with messed up hair, or people sneaking in late. It floored me. Why on earth would he say that? I had sometimes heard women gawk and complain about these things and how trashy a person was, or I would see people roll their eyes as a mother got up for the third or fourth time with a screaming kid and eyes rolled.

He said a few very simple things that have impacted my take on my worshiping since. The Gospel isn't a complicated thing, people are. The Lord knows this and everyone is simply asked to give their best, no matter how small an effort it is, it is an effort. He spoke of the way everyone sins in their own way and that that person reeking of cigarettes in a room full of avid non-smokers put aside their pride and came to worship God despite the obvious mark of someone who wasn't living the Gospel the same way as someone next to him. Yet, that other person had their own sins, maybe ones they can hide easier. How brave and reverent a person must be to sacrifice pride for their God in the face of their fellow church goers' ideas of who they were. In this talk, this speaker went on to say that jeans may be all a person has, that we are asked to give our best to the Lord and wear our nicest things out of reverence to Him when in his churches.

In one stake I was in, there was a focus on keeping reverence in the chapel. People were asked to slide in to the center of pews to make room for late comers, the elderly who needed the outside seats and young families who would likely need to get up and down quickly to avoid disrupting the meeting. As a teenager, it astounded me to realize that simply scooching in a bit helped keep the meeting reverent. My mother enlightened me a bit explaining that people come to church for God, but they also come to get their ducks in a row, to become better people and they come to learn. By making an extra effort to make church better and a place to learn and better ourselves, we show selflessness and a love for other people even though we generally go for ourselves and our own salvation.

Back to the issue at hand. I've read the articles on this protest. Nice pants suits and slacks are what protesters are supposed to wear. Not too bad, right? At first it seemed pointless, as I have seen quite a few women wear pants suits to church already. Then I went back to the realization that this isn't about pants. It is about shock. Making your own issues rise above those of the people coming to worship. There are women going to church today, in hopes of getting so much notice that church leaders will be like "Oh, well then by all means, wear what ever you want, worship however you want."

See, the funny thing is that you ALREADY can. Anyone CAN wear pants to church; some women already do. People may judge you, thinking you are disrespectful or too poor to have a skirt on, but there aren't any rules against it. Those judging people have their own issues to answer for. It is your choice whether you think it is the most reverent and respectful thing you can be doing and if your heart is in the right place. If you really are just going to worship, I would hope that you do the best you can to worship the best you can. Frankly, it is none of my business. I suppose it is like that speaker said, at least you are going and trying to better yourself... right? Going to church is hard for me some days with dragging kids and doing hair and making an effort to just be there to show my Father in Heaven that I care. I may show up frazzled, frustrated and just trying to make it through the 3 hour block, but I go to church because I want to get past my own faults and just keep trying. I want to show God that to me, my life is about Him as much as I can make it be. What I don't appreciate is a movement to undermine the reverence of a meeting I sacrifice to attend.

How would it make the Lord feel to realize that these women are so focused about having all the glory of the day, about having the Gospel be more about them today, that the Sabbath is more about personal entitlement than the Saviour  Is it so important that we care more about what is covering your hind side than if your fellow worshippers get to worship and get the messages and spiritual growth they are hoping for today?