My Christmas Wish to all my Friends
This Christmas I wish you all the best that the season of peace on earth and goodwill to all men has to offer: My your little darlings be angels in the school nativity play, not cows* May your panto hero actually be able to hear you shout "He's behind you!" May you remember to blow out your advent candle before it burns halfway through to next week* May your carol singers actually sing carols, rather than mumbling a half-hearted verse of "We wish you a Merry Christmas" and then holding out their hands for money* May the children remain peacefully asleep as Father Christmas places their filled stockings on their beds, and may they remain peacefully asleep until the sun has risen May you remember to put on your shoes when you go to church, and not find yourself standing in the foyer in your slippers trying to pass them off as a festive statement* May your crackers contain hats that fit, jokes that are funny, and novelty gifts that are actually useful* ...